of love, life and living it up
Thursday, November 02, 2006
vaseline man
so last night i was dealing with the usual lack of sleep and i start watching adult swim cos at that point it was either crappy music on VH1 or informercials about the best mattress/hair rejuvenation product/vacuum cleaner ever made. then i remembered that my beloved adult swim comes on late at night.
apparently now thesmokinggun.com has their own series where they bring to life real life police reports. i was laughing all through but the one that took the cake was the story about the man who vandalized hotel rooms by putting vaseline on everything. i mean everything - the sheets, the pillow case, the walls, floor, doors ... everything. i don't know if it was the fact that it was late at night, they way they dramatized it or the fact that a real person used 14 tubs of vaseline to smear vaseline on everything (really, how long did it take him?) but i found it way too hilarious. like laugh out loud, herbal tea being choked on, waking up other people in the apartment kinda funny. then i thought "nah, it can't be true" so i looked it up and yup, it is. so im hilarized all over again, laughing mpaka i have cried and people just don't get it cos all i keep saying over and over again is "vaseline ... he put ... hahahahaha" or something of the sort. then when i explain, they are like eh? what's the big deal? it's not even that funny. sigh. people just don't understand. i reckon it will be a while before i able to think or look at vaseline without cracking up.
by the way, it took the hotel a month to get all the vaseline out.
apparently now thesmokinggun.com has their own series where they bring to life real life police reports. i was laughing all through but the one that took the cake was the story about the man who vandalized hotel rooms by putting vaseline on everything. i mean everything - the sheets, the pillow case, the walls, floor, doors ... everything. i don't know if it was the fact that it was late at night, they way they dramatized it or the fact that a real person used 14 tubs of vaseline to smear vaseline on everything (really, how long did it take him?) but i found it way too hilarious. like laugh out loud, herbal tea being choked on, waking up other people in the apartment kinda funny. then i thought "nah, it can't be true" so i looked it up and yup, it is. so im hilarized all over again, laughing mpaka i have cried and people just don't get it cos all i keep saying over and over again is "vaseline ... he put ... hahahahaha" or something of the sort. then when i explain, they are like eh? what's the big deal? it's not even that funny. sigh. people just don't understand. i reckon it will be a while before i able to think or look at vaseline without cracking up.
by the way, it took the hotel a month to get all the vaseline out.
15 Comments:
Ehe, I have chekad hard! That guy is crazy. Reminds me of this guy at work who was telling me about a survey J&J was doing about how folks use vaseline. One couple responded, saying they used it during sex. That answer so intrigued J&J that an official called them up to clarify. The couple said that anytime they wanted to have sex, they would smear a glob of it on the door handle so that their children wouldn't walk in on them.
This cracked me up immensely..LOL!! Dude clearly had too much time on his hands.
VASELINE?
Hotel rooms?
Sheets????
Porn???
OIL?
JERKING OFF?
Boredom?
Retardation?
UNDER SEXED?
(Bingo!)
Lol...talk about creativity!
Lawd almighty!! yu mean smbody gat such too much time on their hands?
talk of being crazy.... as Udi said, dude musta been having a vaseline orgy or sm...like "Hey ya'll come over to my crib... we gat lots of bacardi, iced JWs on the rocks, and lotsa vaseline.. we finna musturbate till we reincarnate as jelly tubes"
Lol
Jeez aiya that was one who had boiled kabisa.
Kamum how u been? U gat holla
that is tooooo hilarious!!! how did he even think of that? too much time and too much vaseline...and did he buy the 14 jars at a go coz that would have been hillarious or did he buy them in installments?
That's a psycho for real... Hope all is well Spicilicious.. like that??
I cant understand why anyone wouldn't find that hilarious! Hehehehe...vaseline...heh..put....heheh...even I cant tell the story. Damn. If he was jerking off he should have used something less solid, a little oily perhaps... No I haven't tried!! Don't ask how I know.
that would make a great vaseline ad...vaseline multi-purpose. to shine, jerk off and piss off.
ati 14 tubs of vaseline? dude thought he could have a slippery slope wank ama? poor seluded bastard. at least is wasn't a scat fetish......eeeiiiwww!
PS how in the hell did he get out of the room without falling? ama he just slid out? HHMMMMM??
Talking about vaseline, there is a new song by Walanguzi, by that very name "Vaseline". Its really thorough!!!
PS: Its beats are similar to those of Rick Ross - Everyday Im Hustling, so just substitute hustling for vaseline
Get a copy of this song and dedicate it to this chap.
ahem, i'm kinda late with this but i'm here!
@ udi
i can't imagine what the people who cleanend the room went through. ugh!
@ egm
say what? on the door? hehe, whatever happened to using socks and ties? i've never heard of that before.
@ princess
i wonder at what point he sat and thought "you know what this room needs? vaseline!"
@ mikhie
you hit the nail on the head! i'm still shaking my head at all this.
@ sisbigbones
you're telling me! he sure put alot of thought into it.
@ kymbrr
jelly cubes? lol! you crack me up! i hope there are no other copycat crimes that that would be just wrong.
@ nakeel
where have you been? ebu log in once in a while!
LOL!
I'm laughing so hard, jamani! Haa haa haaa ... Ati how in the hell did he get out of the room without falling? Ama he just slid out? Jamani, my sides hurt!!
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