of love, life and living it up
Friday, May 26, 2006
friday afternoon ramblings
this world is really small. its way too small when you are a gazillion miles away from home and you go for a wedding and you start meeting people left right and centre like it was a planned reunion.
SIDEBAR:
so at this wedding i attended last weekend there was a dress code. yaani on the invitation it was in bold, italicised, underlined in capital letters and repeated for those who have short memories. the ceremony was late afternoon and the reception was in the evening so formal dress was required for the "cocktail style" (more on this later) affair. yaani no timbalands. no sneakers either. no caps tilted to the side with the tags still on. sparkly halter tops with short skirts and those wiiide belts need not apply and no low rise jeans with half your bum out even before you sit down. and yup, you guessed it, kenyans being kenyans some wore all of the above. lord jesus, what part of formal wear required and cocktail style reception don't they understand? sigh.
so i go there and meet people i last saw in std. 8, cellotape relations i didn't even know existed and my deputy headmistress from highschool! it's situations like these that make everyone believe that all africans know each other. anyway, the deputy (we used to call her bush nyanye) actually kumbuka-d me, though all she could remember is i was a cop, mischievious and i sang for music club. the trauma that woman caused me back in the day! ahh, memories.
now on to the cocktail style business.it was called cocktail style cos there was no alcohol to be served. i was laughing the way eyes just instantly glazed over in the room when the announcement was made. regardless, some people were prepared and most of the people in the room still got merry. then ati cos it was supposed to be like a cocktail there were no seats. the ones available were for the older folk and mothers with children. cos you are mean to mingle. whatever. some of us were in dire straits cos of the shoes we decided to wear. you know, the high kind. the ones you almost think twice about wearing but then its the only one that will go with the dress you want to wear so you amua you will vumilia. it's just walking from the front door to the car to the church where you will sit and then on to the reception where you will sit again, right? oh, the agony, especially since i haven't worn heels in a while. needless to say down the hall from the reception there was a place where girl's came to rest their feet, numb the pain with alcohol and run away from people introducing themselves as brother _______ and then proceeding to talk to your chest. i was so bitter, si they would have said organising for seats was going to be a hassle so we would all stand and i would have brought my pati pati's. i'm just saying.
this being a christian, no alcohol wedding the MC was a leader at some church that alot of kenyans frequent. or so i hear. i don't do kenyan churches. it's not discrimination, it just doesn't make sense to go all the way to the other side of town to get there and there is a church down the street that has mass twice a day everyday, i'm not pressured to give love gifts or told how much i must tithe. but that's just me. not to mention the rumours - i have never even attended said church but now i know who allegdly slept with who, mara the pastor cheated on his wife etc. i don't need that kind of second hand drama.
anyhow, the MC must have had a hairbrush up his ass. people that self important shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a mic. all sorts of useless announcements and repeated requests of "praise the lord, listen to me!" the last straw is when he came up to some chile and i and told us "look after him". now the 'him' was some random child who was running around causing a ruckus. we were left there with a child who must have had ADD and rude as hell. me i don't like such situations. it's not like we could discipline him and smack him if he was misbehaving kitambo we end up on jude judy. where the hell were his parents? anyway, the kid ran off again then the MC brought him back acting offended cos we weren't doing such "a simple thing". we told him to go to the mic and make an announcement cos mtoto si wetu. he walked away looking like someone had just added a hot comb to the hairbrush. useless twit.
the wedding was alot of fun though and i caught up with alot of people. it was hilarious seeing an assortment of girls in clubwear/evening wear trying to catch the bouqet. scenes like those are exactly why you'll never see me there waiting to cathc a bunch of flowers. oooh the hilarity of it all. catch me dead.
in other news, i bought the k'naan album and i loved it! if you pitia msanii's you'll probably hear him mentioned once in a while. me being behind the times the way i am i hadn't heard of him till majuzi, all i had watched was his soobax video. that right there is real hip hop and for me to buy the whole album (i am the queen of downloads, i can't buy a whole album if i'm only feeling a couple of songs) i was moved kabisa. there are no club anthems here though, so if you lean heavily towards or listen exclusively to the kind of hip hop that comes with an instruction manual/list of assets/sexual history give it a miss. you know the kind i mean, the one's that go "throw your hands in the air" then "i gat 22's, a diamond grill and a fly watch" then chorus goes "lean way back, pop this, shake that, yeah, wind it baby!" he manages to be a realy cool lyricist without throwong in "bitches and hoes" every other song. i heard he had a performance that was really good down here late last year, it's just too bad i didn't know about him then. you can watch some clips and listen to his album (yeah all of it, no 30 sec clips) and read a bio over here.
sigh. i type and type and type and my long weekend hasn't started already ... i'm off to twiddle my thumbs.
EDIT:
blogger clearly has issues - first i type the post, then i edit it. i try to publish and it stays on 0% forever and after a while i give up. i figure blogger has eaten my post, then this morning i come and find that the thing is on my blog minus the corrections and some stories. ah well. c'est la vie. lakini for that person who wrote me to say that 50 cent is better than k'naan ... i have no words. all i can tell you is that your taste has been compromised!
SIDEBAR:
so at this wedding i attended last weekend there was a dress code. yaani on the invitation it was in bold, italicised, underlined in capital letters and repeated for those who have short memories. the ceremony was late afternoon and the reception was in the evening so formal dress was required for the "cocktail style" (more on this later) affair. yaani no timbalands. no sneakers either. no caps tilted to the side with the tags still on. sparkly halter tops with short skirts and those wiiide belts need not apply and no low rise jeans with half your bum out even before you sit down. and yup, you guessed it, kenyans being kenyans some wore all of the above. lord jesus, what part of formal wear required and cocktail style reception don't they understand? sigh.
so i go there and meet people i last saw in std. 8, cellotape relations i didn't even know existed and my deputy headmistress from highschool! it's situations like these that make everyone believe that all africans know each other. anyway, the deputy (we used to call her bush nyanye) actually kumbuka-d me, though all she could remember is i was a cop, mischievious and i sang for music club. the trauma that woman caused me back in the day! ahh, memories.
now on to the cocktail style business.it was called cocktail style cos there was no alcohol to be served. i was laughing the way eyes just instantly glazed over in the room when the announcement was made. regardless, some people were prepared and most of the people in the room still got merry. then ati cos it was supposed to be like a cocktail there were no seats. the ones available were for the older folk and mothers with children. cos you are mean to mingle. whatever. some of us were in dire straits cos of the shoes we decided to wear. you know, the high kind. the ones you almost think twice about wearing but then its the only one that will go with the dress you want to wear so you amua you will vumilia. it's just walking from the front door to the car to the church where you will sit and then on to the reception where you will sit again, right? oh, the agony, especially since i haven't worn heels in a while. needless to say down the hall from the reception there was a place where girl's came to rest their feet, numb the pain with alcohol and run away from people introducing themselves as brother _______ and then proceeding to talk to your chest. i was so bitter, si they would have said organising for seats was going to be a hassle so we would all stand and i would have brought my pati pati's. i'm just saying.
this being a christian, no alcohol wedding the MC was a leader at some church that alot of kenyans frequent. or so i hear. i don't do kenyan churches. it's not discrimination, it just doesn't make sense to go all the way to the other side of town to get there and there is a church down the street that has mass twice a day everyday, i'm not pressured to give love gifts or told how much i must tithe. but that's just me. not to mention the rumours - i have never even attended said church but now i know who allegdly slept with who, mara the pastor cheated on his wife etc. i don't need that kind of second hand drama.
anyhow, the MC must have had a hairbrush up his ass. people that self important shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a mic. all sorts of useless announcements and repeated requests of "praise the lord, listen to me!" the last straw is when he came up to some chile and i and told us "look after him". now the 'him' was some random child who was running around causing a ruckus. we were left there with a child who must have had ADD and rude as hell. me i don't like such situations. it's not like we could discipline him and smack him if he was misbehaving kitambo we end up on jude judy. where the hell were his parents? anyway, the kid ran off again then the MC brought him back acting offended cos we weren't doing such "a simple thing". we told him to go to the mic and make an announcement cos mtoto si wetu. he walked away looking like someone had just added a hot comb to the hairbrush. useless twit.
the wedding was alot of fun though and i caught up with alot of people. it was hilarious seeing an assortment of girls in clubwear/evening wear trying to catch the bouqet. scenes like those are exactly why you'll never see me there waiting to cathc a bunch of flowers. oooh the hilarity of it all. catch me dead.
in other news, i bought the k'naan album and i loved it! if you pitia msanii's you'll probably hear him mentioned once in a while. me being behind the times the way i am i hadn't heard of him till majuzi, all i had watched was his soobax video. that right there is real hip hop and for me to buy the whole album (i am the queen of downloads, i can't buy a whole album if i'm only feeling a couple of songs) i was moved kabisa. there are no club anthems here though, so if you lean heavily towards or listen exclusively to the kind of hip hop that comes with an instruction manual/list of assets/sexual history give it a miss. you know the kind i mean, the one's that go "throw your hands in the air" then "i gat 22's, a diamond grill and a fly watch" then chorus goes "lean way back, pop this, shake that, yeah, wind it baby!" he manages to be a realy cool lyricist without throwong in "bitches and hoes" every other song. i heard he had a performance that was really good down here late last year, it's just too bad i didn't know about him then. you can watch some clips and listen to his album (yeah all of it, no 30 sec clips) and read a bio over here.
sigh. i type and type and type and my long weekend hasn't started already ... i'm off to twiddle my thumbs.
EDIT:
blogger clearly has issues - first i type the post, then i edit it. i try to publish and it stays on 0% forever and after a while i give up. i figure blogger has eaten my post, then this morning i come and find that the thing is on my blog minus the corrections and some stories. ah well. c'est la vie. lakini for that person who wrote me to say that 50 cent is better than k'naan ... i have no words. all i can tell you is that your taste has been compromised!
18 Comments:
I guess you are more upto date than I am! I had never heard of K'naan until I read your blog today. Thanks for the heads up. Looks like a certain addition to my music collection.
Don't you just love men who assume because you are a woman you will naturally be able to handle, love, cherish or take care of a child?
PS I too don't do "Kenyan" churches. I often feel like a stranger.
Hey sweery glad to hear you enjoyed and am trying to imagine you on heels and its standing time hell the organizers should not have been that mean.
Ati the MC pretended to be forcing people to tunza mtoto wa wenyewe thats why I always say zii mambo ya kanisani I will kosdana nao vibaya and ne told sijaokoka..
Should have stepped on that deputy headmistress to revenge ur suffering.. I have no mercy one day the deputies kid lost the way and came to our class in school the thing paid for it me carrying and chunachuna the mashavu and my friends pulling masikio no mercy...
Next one urs nini? Lovely weekend
@ eclectian
most definately worth a listen, some of my favourite off the album (so hard to choose, haha) is "if rap gets jealous" and "boxing my shadow". glad i could spread the word, thanks for passing by.
@ uaridi
i know! such things don't come naturally, and i know i'm not the only one who at the drop of a hat doesn't know what to do with someone else's sulky child ... hmm, some people!
@ nakeel
let me tell you, even if i wanted to tembelea that church (and i have no desire) that dude's attitude would have put me off. ugh!
loooooool nakeel, you are evil! achana na watoto wa wenywewe woiye. i guess the fact that i moved on from all their pettiness was revenge enough, i remember her rebuking me at some point for having a radio in school, haha!
BTW was told ati those cocktails ati girls get prospective husbands there did u succeed?
lol great post spice! Lakini we have some elements that daringly "miss-dress" when it comes to weddings and feel top of the pops bado. Who's smart idea was it not to have chairs yawa? I love K'naan altho i have'nt heard his whole album just a couple of songs. I like the dusty foot philosopher song a lot. I think he was touring with Damien Marley at one point in time. The kavideo for soobax is also interesting with all the ma3 scenes in Easich and other areas.
@ nakeel
loooool me the way i am young sitafuti bwana. and even if i was ebu refer to my rant above about how people were calling themselves brother _____ and then talking to your chest. eeek!
@ kabinti
i first heard about k'naan after watching that video. lakini i penda the whole album sana sana.
you would have thought people would have at least made an effort. about a quarter of the people looked like they were going to the club. and there are some things that are just not acceptable anywhere, like hats with the tags still on. its like, you know we get it. it's rockawear. now go home and look for a pair of scissors and snip, snip, snip!
Haiya Bush Nyanye came to oteto? Ala!!
Niaje sisteeeh!! Nakuchekiii...!
Am so lol! @ "...i'm off to twiddle my thumbs"
I see K'naan's message is sinking deep among folks that have 'that' non-radio ear for music. I too learned of him via Msanii and a few weeks later heard from Blitz that they had a show together.
-Thanks for the link to his site. An artist playing an entire album full of great gems on their site will mos def get my money.
Folks disregarding the dress code must have made the wedding look like a dress party of sorts. Am sure the wedded couple wouldn't be too proud of their wedding reception pics.
hehe, a man talking to your chest?lol! Girls go through hell dealing with non-verbal communication from oggling men.
Wwaah! you met your deputy head from way back? I doubt I remember the names or faces of my dept head from both prim & high school! Do they remember me? Your post is a lesson in itself:)
"The MC must have had a hairbrush up his ass."...Oucchhhhchhh!!!
@ ms k
you know who bush nyanye is? teehee, we are many who passed by that school
@ akiey
niaje brooooo! si k'naan rocks? i would never have bought the album if i hadn't listened to it first, that was very bright of whomever is promoting the album. i heard another one is on the way.
aki i swear, people only ever remember my big eyes. even when i went back to prima, that's how they recognised me. i was like hala, si i grew into them?!
that dude was perving bila shame, i mean, would it have hurt him to pretend that he was at least interested in conversation? wavulana, hmm!
whats with dissing kenyan churches? ala muwache usaliti.
lovely blog
and thanks for the headsup on the music...definately way above the chwani ballpart
This was one line that made the post worth reading!
nd run away from people introducing themselves as brother _______ and then proceeding to talk to your chest.
Hilarious!!!!!!
I must say much like Uaridi, I am totally out of the Kenyan mix, be it churches or clubs.I have become accustomed to being the token African!
As for puffed up Church officials don't let me get started otherwise you will have another 30 page post here!And you also know how I feel about children!
Then when it comes to dress codes, I see even in stato where most Kenyans can afford to buy decent clothes peeps dont want to know!I mean how do you go to a wedding looking like you are clubbing?Then these are the same people who complain that they cant get any good chics or jamaas!Hmmmph!
Nice post!
Sounds like this wedding was some experience. And it is fun to see a part of the world through your eyes.
Tell the truth; I haven't listened to K'naan.
Yaani Kenyans have taken gossip and rumours Ulaya? Lols
@ alexcia
my aversion for kenyan churches has little to do with patriotism - it's some of the people i have problems with. thanks for passing by and k'naan is most definately one of those artists you should listen to at least once.
@ acolyte
the dude was abit full of himself, i would most definately be labelled a trouble maker were i to attend that church on a regular basis. i don't have the same aversion to kids like you :-D butthis was one of those instances where it does not take a village to raise a child. were we to discipline him i'm sure we would have been told that we were overstepping our boundaries so why bother, you know? teehee, you have such an interesting analysis as to why people complain there is a lack of men/women to hook up with.
@ tim rice
it was alot of fun. i wil be sure to include translations next time so that you cn get a better feel of what is going on.
@ shiro
give k'naan a listen when you have a chance - most definately worth your time.
I've always hated people who want to be all over my business at church. Thought we gathered to prAy and not prEy on others no?
You just enforced the habit I have of checking into church when all is set, as soon as it is finished take off, no pavement/car park fellowship for me.
I think I have forgiven most of my teachers now -time heals- and would not mind if I ran into them.
Am hearing of k'naan now thanks.
@ prou
you're welcome. prEying as opposed to prAying? never thought of it that way.
forgiveness of those now hilarious teachers is key. i went back for a visit (teehee, the way i swore i would never go back) and no amount of rustling of staffroom curtains bothered me, though they did mention my "questionable"hair to my cousin repeatedly.
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