of love, life and living it up
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
preacher - congregation
i am always amazed at how the imagination of a child works. kitambo, with no cartoon network and KBC starting at four, we had a myriad of games that kept us occupied when we weren't in school - shake, kati, bladda, bano, you name it. even pretend games were fun. there was doctor - patient (with needles and whatnot) teacher - student (but there was a fight when someone was beaten too hard for not doing homework because the teacher hadn't quite grasped the concept of pretend) cha mama, preacher - congregation ... well, maybe not the last one. but seeing it in action was one funny moment.
there was this one holiday when i was in high school when we had two of my cousins who came to spend the holiday. M was the boy (an absolute darling to this day) and S was the girl (an insufferable little brat - in those days i was certain that if satan had any offspring, she had to be one of them).
one evening as W (domestic engineer) was preparing supper, she saw the said children rearranging the dining room area cos they wanted to play. after telling them that as long as it was arranged in time for dinner they went ahead. a while later she was walking around and decided to check in on them and saw M standing and S sitting and listening to the "word". this is a brief description of what she saw/heard
M: amen!
S: halleluja amen!
M: today, we will read from the book of -
S: amen!
M: ah, si you let me finish.
S: hurry up then, news is almost finished
M: today, we will read from the book of john chapter 3 verse 16. for god so loved the world that he gave his only son. hallelujah amen!
S: amen.
by now my mother had just come in from work and my sister and i were doing the whole welcome commitee ritual. that in itself is a different post but to summarise, my mother feels that after working all day to feed you and keep you in school you should at the very least welcome her home, offer to get her slippers and a cup of tea, ask about her day then let her watch news. W comes and says "you must come and see".
so we all go and peep and see him in the midst of a sermon about god, his son and the spirit. we were all mildly amused and were about to go about our business but then came the praise and worship session. after singing baraka za mungu they then go into worship and then he speaks in "tongues". at this point, we were all laughing like crazy at the gibberish and how into it they were. whether or not they knew we were there we don't know, but then again we must have been pretty hard to ignore because we were getting loud. he lays his hands on her and starts praying in the same "tongue" and all of a sudden yells "TOUCH!" and she fell to the floor and started "convulsing". by this time we were all holding on to each other and laughing so hard we were gasping for air. anyway after a while she gets up and they sing one more song then comes the sadaka part, and she gives repeatedly, for tithe, for the church building fund , for everything. all of a sudden they noticed news was finished, arranged the furniture and went and watched whatever comedy was on. we, on the other hand, laughed for many days to come, more so when my mother was watching one of the preaching programmes that come on t.v. for a whole week, all you had to say was "touch!" and we would positively die from laughter.
this incident came to mind when i was talking to Y and just generally catching up on stuff. she told me of these two girls we were in school with and are now both in main campus. girl #1 goes to girl #2's room and asks to use her phone. after usual instructions to replace the credit used and to bring back the phone as soon as she was through girl #1 rushes back to her room. after a while girl #2 gets anxious because it's been a while and her phone hasn't been returned. she finally decides to go and get it and finds girl #1 in tears and all she can say is how sorry she is.
apparently there was a preacher with his assistant doing the rounds around the hostels and girl #1 decides that it can't hurt to listen to them for a while. so they talked about the bible and then they offered to pray for her. she was all for it until they said that they needed her to put some valuables in a basket as a sign of good faith (i don't get this part either) so she goes ahead and removes her jacket. they go like nope, that's not enough. we need a bigger show of faith. so she goes to girl #2's room and gets a phone and puts it in the basket along with her jacket. so they pray for a while and then the preacher says that they need to be silent so that they can feel the spirit at work. so after waitng for about ten minutes she opens her eyes and they are gone.
so girl #2 at this point is at a loss for words. all she can think is how she is going to tell her mother that the phone she bought for her daughter was lost by someone else. "aki girl #1, what were you thinking? what's wrong with you?" girl #1 then goes like "i know, that jacket cost a thousand bob ... ". i don't know what happened after that but one can only imagine. maajabu!
there was this one holiday when i was in high school when we had two of my cousins who came to spend the holiday. M was the boy (an absolute darling to this day) and S was the girl (an insufferable little brat - in those days i was certain that if satan had any offspring, she had to be one of them).
one evening as W (domestic engineer) was preparing supper, she saw the said children rearranging the dining room area cos they wanted to play. after telling them that as long as it was arranged in time for dinner they went ahead. a while later she was walking around and decided to check in on them and saw M standing and S sitting and listening to the "word". this is a brief description of what she saw/heard
M: amen!
S: halleluja amen!
M: today, we will read from the book of -
S: amen!
M: ah, si you let me finish.
S: hurry up then, news is almost finished
M: today, we will read from the book of john chapter 3 verse 16. for god so loved the world that he gave his only son. hallelujah amen!
S: amen.
by now my mother had just come in from work and my sister and i were doing the whole welcome commitee ritual. that in itself is a different post but to summarise, my mother feels that after working all day to feed you and keep you in school you should at the very least welcome her home, offer to get her slippers and a cup of tea, ask about her day then let her watch news. W comes and says "you must come and see".
so we all go and peep and see him in the midst of a sermon about god, his son and the spirit. we were all mildly amused and were about to go about our business but then came the praise and worship session. after singing baraka za mungu they then go into worship and then he speaks in "tongues". at this point, we were all laughing like crazy at the gibberish and how into it they were. whether or not they knew we were there we don't know, but then again we must have been pretty hard to ignore because we were getting loud. he lays his hands on her and starts praying in the same "tongue" and all of a sudden yells "TOUCH!" and she fell to the floor and started "convulsing". by this time we were all holding on to each other and laughing so hard we were gasping for air. anyway after a while she gets up and they sing one more song then comes the sadaka part, and she gives repeatedly, for tithe, for the church building fund , for everything. all of a sudden they noticed news was finished, arranged the furniture and went and watched whatever comedy was on. we, on the other hand, laughed for many days to come, more so when my mother was watching one of the preaching programmes that come on t.v. for a whole week, all you had to say was "touch!" and we would positively die from laughter.
this incident came to mind when i was talking to Y and just generally catching up on stuff. she told me of these two girls we were in school with and are now both in main campus. girl #1 goes to girl #2's room and asks to use her phone. after usual instructions to replace the credit used and to bring back the phone as soon as she was through girl #1 rushes back to her room. after a while girl #2 gets anxious because it's been a while and her phone hasn't been returned. she finally decides to go and get it and finds girl #1 in tears and all she can say is how sorry she is.
apparently there was a preacher with his assistant doing the rounds around the hostels and girl #1 decides that it can't hurt to listen to them for a while. so they talked about the bible and then they offered to pray for her. she was all for it until they said that they needed her to put some valuables in a basket as a sign of good faith (i don't get this part either) so she goes ahead and removes her jacket. they go like nope, that's not enough. we need a bigger show of faith. so she goes to girl #2's room and gets a phone and puts it in the basket along with her jacket. so they pray for a while and then the preacher says that they need to be silent so that they can feel the spirit at work. so after waitng for about ten minutes she opens her eyes and they are gone.
so girl #2 at this point is at a loss for words. all she can think is how she is going to tell her mother that the phone she bought for her daughter was lost by someone else. "aki girl #1, what were you thinking? what's wrong with you?" girl #1 then goes like "i know, that jacket cost a thousand bob ... ". i don't know what happened after that but one can only imagine. maajabu!
15 Comments:
-panting after fighting his way to number one!-
I rule!Now off to read!
I'm back!yenyewe kids can be the greatest form of entertainment ever!But as for that other chic, she is an example of how ppl lose logic in the name of faith!Oh well there's a sucker born everyday!
A fool and her mobile phone (and jacket) are soon parted...
How daft can people get?
Then on the other hand, thieves hiding under the cover of the Word have a special place being prepared for them huko Hell... I can just imagine sheytaniz fanning a corner for them (like we do jikoz) ongezaring heat so they can chomeka sawa sawa... LOLOLOL
Someone told me when you are doing these things you dont know what you are doping as they lewesha you with some charms then after they are gone is when you come back to your senses and see what you just did.
These are the last days and false prophets are there.
Nice one on the kid games nimecheka..
ok...i second milo...a fool and her mobile and jacket are soon parted!! dang what on earth was she thinking??? LOL at touch!!!
haya! by the way, i agree i think those dudes weka some juju on you. cause yani, my cousin , a very intelligent girl by the way, was in the same exact situation.when she tods us that storo, we did the whole head shaking, tisk, tisk, sigh tongue- clicking vibe and when we asked her why she gave them her phone, (thinking that a knife or gun had featured) , she was like i dont know, i just had to give it to them.
juju i tell you!
First I apologize. But Mah Word! I have laughed until my neighbor knocked on the door to ask if I was alright!
Children priceless.
"getting slippers and a cup of tea" made me smile - memories :-)
i love those situations where one only needs to say the word (touch) and everyone who was there just has to start laughing.
@ aco
too right about the sucker. i mean seriously, i think i would have been able to spot that ruse coming a mile off
@ uncle dad
washindwe all those conmen! using gullible people in search of the light? they should be ashamed of themselves.
@ nakeel
i've never heard of that but all i wil saw to that is amen!
@ kips
as he story was told to me she was more concerned about the jacket than about the lost phone, go figure!
@ mama shady
let's hear another amen! but is that juju stuff for real though?
@ stunuh
is till laugh about it to this day, between that and the conman story i was in tears (the good kind) when i was talking to my pal. kids are the best!
@ adrian
short of a banner and those traditional dancers we had to pull out all the stops as welcome commitee. and those one liners are the coolest, though they can irritate those who are not in the know
"...if satan had any off-spring, she had to be one of them.." - LOL!
Kids do the darnedest things - including preaching!
Shindwe on the morons who played chick 1 and chick 2!
Children spice up our lives. Too bad we are killing their imagination with all these gadgets coming everyday to keep the occupied.
I was told a similar story about valuables being put to be prayed for. Some lady gave away all the vitenges she had brought for her shop in Nairobi from Uganda.
I am curious to know how they do it because that line is so tired.
@ poi
apparently she was more worried about the jacket form what i heard. i was laughing to hear happened afterwards, but girl #2 was not known for her restraint back in high school
@ whis
feeling you on the shindwe thing. and that little girl was a brat, still is. entertaining, but aki that child!
@ prousette
you've heard that story? where have i been? i was amazed, people just give away their valuables like that ... tsk, tsk.
while reading this I was transported back in time...I remember playing all those games. kati, bano, beta, blada, cha mama, kalongo shake you name it ...mmmmm memeroies are made of...
Man! So many good stories to catch up on..thats what I get for being away so damn long!
Rofl@ your couzos..that preacher thing is sooo something my brother and I would've done..lol
LOL@ Welcome committee..although I have to admit we raced to do it so we could ask for favors later, or snitch on each other..tsk tsk
@ farmgal
i have a hankaring to go back to those days of shake i tell you, i was champion of that game.
@ medusa
i would pay to see your version of preacher congregation, i really would!
welcome commitees were the best when it came to snitching or kissing ass cos you knew you were about to get into trouble
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