of love, life and living it up

i read an article on christian domestic discipline and for real i thought i was reading an article from "the onion". the whole "wives, submit to your husband" verse (which, in my experience, is usually quoted without the verse that comes after it and no reference to other submission verses) makes me roll my eyes. when someone evokes it, they usually tend to mean that the man should be the center of the woman's world, that she should not question the fact that his word is law and is final or is some twisted version of 'children should be seen and not heard' for adults.

lord knows i have tried to keep an open mind about it. far be it for me to meddle in something that both the husband and wife say is consensual but i just don't get it. to me, it seems like it is infantilising the woman. if i were to get married some day and i did something wrong, why wouldn't talking it through and apologising be enough? why does the spanking have to take place? also, if a man does something wrong why i can't i spank him as a deterrent or lesson or whatever the said purpose is? marriage is supposed to be a two way street, right?

when i got to the part about "maintenance spanking" i just couldn't believe it. how many times have you heard people tell stories about being spanked by their parents for real or imagined faults? how in the world did that translate into something that a husband must do in order to keep his wife in line? after all, she is an adult not an eight year old.

when i sent a friend of mine the link the first thing she asked if i was sure that there were no safe words involved. for all the talk of a true christian romance and heroism (which immediately made me think of this guy for some reason) i do not associate that with a beating for discipline's sake. it's a difficult concept to accept, especially since in my experience and in listening to others talk about domestic violence it's usually an amalgamation of "i bought her with bride price", "she deserved it", "she is my property", "wives, submit to your husbands" and a whole bunch of other reasons that in my mind canot explain away the abuse.

by the way, the site linked to in the article now requires a password to log in to everything apart from the home page. i'm guessing a they had a whole lot of angry people going over there.

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i never learnt to make chapos for some reason or the other. a couple of weeks ago, i suddenly had the urge to make some. now, i tend to have an impulse and then follow right through with it. the 'must.do.NOW!' attitude has gotten me in hot water and/or made me wonder later why i even bothered. it does have it's upside though. i learnt to make muffins one night when i had insomnia and i was thinking that since i had all the ingredients i might as well google a recipe and make some for breakfast and help pass the time. another time i was reading something, i don't even know what and "beer bread" jumped out at me and when i found a recipe and some beer in the fridge i went right to work.

i don't even know why i was so determined to make chapos. i just knew that i must. or what, i'm not sure, i usually don't think that far. first off, trying to google a recipe and then trying to pick one was an adventure. then this whole kneading business - there need to be more instructional videos on that. i wasn't sure if i should massage the ingredients or punch them. then, as i was leaving the dough to rise it occured to me that maybe self raising flour couldnt be used as a substitute for all purpose flour. i shrugged it off thinking flour, schmlour, potatoe, potato and all that. si it will rise all the better? ok, on to the rolling part. since i didn't have a rolling pin (by the by, please note that all questions asking what i used as a substitute will not be answered, m'kay? i was in the moment and i would've ruined it by going to the store to get one. what is important is that i own one now) getting the chapos to look like a duara was a challenge. who decided that the circle is the all and end all of chapati shape? one day, i told myself, i was going to go all out. chapo shaped like stars, rainbows and cute kittens is what i would make and have for dinner but at that moment amoeba shaped chapati would be just awesome.

of course, i knew that i sounded ridiculous. i was so sure this would not end well and that all that would've been accomplished is alot of time laughing at myself and lots of fun would have been had. cos really, chapo shaped like a kitten? in the end, the chapo was actually good enough to eat. it didn't stop the laughter from others though. you know, you think people are your friends until you tell them how you made chapo with no rolling pin, a spatula and self raising flour then they tell others about it and it becomes the funniest thing ever. others tried to be nice, ati there are ready made chapos at the indian shop. it's not like the ones who laughed the most would've taught me. there is a pal of mine who was told to watch pasta as it cooked cos her cousin was stepping out for a bit and she managed to burn not only the pasta but the pot it was cooked in.

so, learning to make chapati: take two went well. they didn't look like amoeba but they weren't round either. with a little bit of practice i might learn to make really good ones. as long as no one expects me to make them for their parties or whatever. there are only two scenarios that can happen, both of them worst case. one is that mine will be the chapos no one eats and everyone is forced to carry home because of the "woishe, lakini alijaribu" factor or that i will have people being nice to me all of a sudden and then discover its cos there is a graduation/baby shower/birthday party/we just want to get together about to go down and they want you to cook something and lots of it cos you must account for the gate crashers, the people who must have one big very doggy bag and those who tag along with those invited. no thanks, i'll stick to bringing 6 packs/bottles of whatever and offering to help clean up.

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i am absolutely loving mad men on amc. so nice to have something to watch over summer instead of those singing reality shows and reruns. it's my new addiction.