of love, life and living it up

see? i did it!! no procrastination, im getting right down to business. probably because i just had a conversation with someone who tends to irritate me using the little things.
first to explain why im kinda mad. i like india arie. she dared to be different because she released a song saying that she didnt have to be beautiful according to video standards, she just had to be herself and that was more than enough. so when someone implies that to be beautiful you need to look a certain way it get s me all aaaaaaarrgh!! you see, i know this girl, and shes nice but she says stuff that belongs in the middle ages. here's an example, she asks what my major is and i tell her that it is environmental science. then she goes like "why?" and i thought that she was going into that whole you-are-a-tree-hugger thing (don't lie, i know someone out there was thinking that!!!but thats another post) so i told her i liked watching captain planet as a kid and that "the power is yours" line was my motivation. im just really passionate about the environment but this was way more fun.

N.B
haha, just remembered the theme song -

captain !planet!
he's our hero,
gonna take polution down to the !zero!
all our powers magnified,
and he's fighting on the planets side

but i digress, now. where was i? oh yeah, i was mad. see, before i got to tell her what captain planet could do with the powers of earth, fire, wind etc etc she goes like "gosh, you dont look like you can hack it? but anyway, females can't really do sciences anyway." then she goes away. so im thinking ok. first i look dumb, then you imply that just because im female that i should limit myself to ... what? and it just occured to me - no wonder some men figure that we are less inferior than they are. they most likely figure that if women don't believe in theirselves, why should they do it for us?

now here's another story. i met a dude from cameroon (pole people, i have nothing against west africans but the ones i interact with are silly) and he asks me if i came to university to look for a husband. huh? i flew from nairobi to houston (8744 miles or 14073 kilometres or 7990 nautical miles ... yeah, i looked it up. aren't search ingines great?) to shop for a husband? and he goes like yes. there is alot of prestige associated with a man who has been abroad, and its better to get them while they are here. and i ask well is there prestige for a woman? he goes like of course there is. but she will have a hard time getting married and she will most likely be a difficult wife. and the bride price will be much higher. all men want is an obedient and submissive wife to bear him healthy children. so i told him, no, i was not looking for a husband. he looked flabbergasted, and im serious. he asked me when i planned to get married and i told him i dont know. he told me that if i dont want to be alone i should get engaged before i finish university or i will be past my sell-by date (aki-a-nani for a while there i felt like a can of soup) i have nothing against marriage but come on!! shouldn't i be an individual first and foremost? should women not go to school or only go to school to look for husbands and then ... thats it?

i could go on forever. maybe its just me, but in the past one month i have come across people who just seem not to look at the bigger picture. whether they can't or won't i don't know, but the point is they just don't know what it is. is a wife less inferior just because she stays at home to take care of the house and kids as opposed to the one who goes out to work? not at all, they all play a role and they are both important. same applies to all other situations.it helps to be open minded, but apparently the daft and the silly have taken over.

so you know what? im tired. and im getting increasingly bored. should the fact that the fact that i am black, (and a dark skinned one ontop of that) african but not american, dreadlocked, a size sixteen, opinionated, have a vagina (if you are uncomfortable using or hearing that word ... well, hell. too bad!) beautiful,and self loving among many other fabulous attributes be held against me? i refuse to apologise for any part of who i am, and i refuse to allow anyone else to make me feel like i have to be something im not.

and i hate it most when it comes from the people you don't least expect it from. the auntie who tells you to either slim up or fatten up to get a proposal(i heard the former, my cousin was told the other one so we were a bit amused and confused). or the lady who follows me when im shopping cos my dreads "mean i will steal" (actually heard that one back home). and as much as i expected to find racism in the states, i didn't expect alot of it to come from african americans, and im in a historically black university, so i get that alot. its the implication that i will only be beautiful if i get rid of my dreads na niweke chemical. or if im lighter, skin or body wise. and god forbid i actually plan to have an opinion and tell others ... isnt it amazing how many small minded people there are?

well, where i was going with this is ... dont degrade yourself. don't be the woman who says females cant hack science degrees. dont be the african american (or african) who speak of the dark dumb continent full of animals and savages. dont be the girl talking down women calling them bitches and hoes with your guy friends, calling them skanky and whatever cos they shall do the same thing to you. trust me, i've seen it happen. don't ... just don't. be proud, be opinionated and let them know. they may not like you or agree with you but they will most definately respect you.and that, boys and girls, is what counts. at least to me.

my sister once told me not to get too riled up about peoples small mindedness, cos it happens and it will not stop anytime soon. but you know what? even if it may do no good, shut someone up today. set them straight and let them know where you stand. you may not change their minds but at least they will know.

phew. i may have raved and ranted bila mpango of what my point was, but i fell better. hey, know what? this blog thing is actually theraputic. i most definately will be doing this more often. now, if you will excuse me, i TiVOd captain planet off cartoon channel in the dead of the night, and now im off to watch it.